Rachael Ray and Auditions.

Those two things don't relate to each other. At least not yet.

So...first things first...if a friend ever asks you if you want to go be in the live audience of a Television show taping SAY YES.

My dear friend asked me to come with her to see Rachael Ray last Tuesday...and we actually ended up taping the Friday "Super Bowl Cook-Off" show.

Here's where we come to life lesson number 2:
When someone is taking a picture of you...DON'T LOOK LIKE AN ASS.

The audience members were all being herded (several actually looked like cattle)into a hallway before the holding room where a man with a camera was taking each audience members picture. Of course as he filed through all the 30 to 40-something women he kept yelling "next. next. next."
Sir. Just because you are gay doesn't mean you have to say something awkward to me.
"Oh hi, how's it going?"
"Uh..." (he takes awful picture of me)

great.

So then...blah blah we finally get in...no you don't get to eat anything...LUCKY YOU SEGMENT. Of course as every audience members' photo flashed across the screen they all moan and squeal about how awful their picture was but each of their oversized middle-aged housewife asses wanted the elliptical machine and decade long supply of oatmeal.
I'm clarevoyant.
I totally knew it would be my ugly-ass picture that popped up.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I WON THE ELLIPTICAL AND OATMEAL. Is my apartment much too small to hold any sort of other furniture than it has, let alone a giant piece of exercise equipment. Also it should be noted: my gym is literally a block away. 1 block.

I'm not being ungrateful. Selling that thing is gonna pay off my credit card and hopefully buy my spring break ticket to L.A.

I'm so sick of being poor.

In other news: during the audition I did today I decided I want one of my contributions to the dance world to be spatial awareness. Because too many people lack that.
Holla if you feel me.